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About Me Member deviantART Loather RUOKMale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 5 Years
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Statistics 17 Deviations
870 Comments
35,299 Pageviews

Fill the Void

Wed Oct 17, 2007, 2:33 PM
RUOK
Revisionist History

* 17 Deviations
* 1 Scrap [browse]
* 552 Deviation Comments
* 304 Deviant Comments
* 28,000 Pageviews


Does this mean I get my own Kiriban? o.0;;;


And yes, folks, I'm basically dead again here on Deviantart. But I'm sure you already figured that out for yourself.

The silent pattern seems to be:

1) The closer I get to achieving my life goals...
2) The further I get from drawing anything.

It's times like these that you really start to wonder how the phases of the heart work, and how much pull whim and whimsy actually have over our lives. Was drawing always such an unbelievable pain in the ass because I was actually destined for something else, or is that just a side-effect of me needing a hell of a lot more practice?

Obviously nobody else but me truly knows, and right now I'm as lost on that subject as anyone.

Just as sure as I know that I write these journals as nothing more than a cataloged dialog with myself (for surely I am not writing for the ten people who, sensibly, shrug and move along when they see that I've typed more than 4 lines (and none of those particularly entertaining, either)) , there is the certainty that I want to create things that resonate, and I want to have a positive impact on people's well-being. Whether that shall come about through writing novels (yes, I want to do that too), or composing music, or maybe even through drawing pictures...I truly do not know.

But right now I am following a commitment that I made, and it is a commitment to take a stand and actually follow something that I love through to its completion. Music got neglected for nearly 8 years while I tortured myself (and the women I was with) in horrible relationships, and nursed a psyche that went from loving all of existence to desperately hating every human on the planet. Now I have returned to where I began, the salvageable pieces have been picked up, and I'm putting (nearly) everything that I have into something that never should have been denied attention in the first place.

Now, having said all of this, in typical me fashion I will probably start posting pictures and completely negate all of the emo-esque bullshit I just committed to database. Maybe thats the real pattern, that nothing gets accomplished until I take out the word gun and start blowing things to kingdom come; my own ridiculous little snip of the Gordian knot.

It is, as they say, entirely possible.

Either way, the void has been filled.

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: California
  • Interests: Music composition, music theory, Japanese language/culture, honesty.
  • Favourite movie: Currently: V for Vendetta
  • Favourite band or musician: Currently: Shiina Ringo - 椎名 林檎
  • Favourite genre of music: Classical/Orchestral, and most modern derivitives
  • Favourite artist: Hanaharu Naruko  ー 鳴子ハナハル
  • Favourite poet or writer: Currently: Vladamir Nabokov
  • Favourite style of art: Pseudo-realism with a dash of anime cuteness
  • Favourite game: Currently: Odin Sphere
  • Favourite gaming platform: Still PS2 at this point

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Comments


:icontirael:
It's been a long time... miss you, we should catch up some time :).
:iconkitsunemiko16:
Thanks for visiting my gallery, even though most of my work isn't very good.

--
"Revenge won't help you lay anything new! If you're gonna lay, lay fresh eggs! Even if you are a male."

~Mr. Champloo, Disgaea 3, chapter 7

I am Natsume in the ~YYH-DevART-Crew

I am Kaon of the Murakumo in the ~Kyoshiro-devart-crew
:iconkitsunemiko16:
Awesome gallery.

--
"Revenge won't help you lay anything new! If you're gonna lay, lay fresh eggs! Even if you are a male."

~Mr. Champloo, Disgaea 3, chapter 7

I am Natsume in the ~YYH-DevART-Crew

I am Kaon of the Murakumo in the ~Kyoshiro-devart-crew
:iconmanji736:
Here Lies ME is a great concept friend.. but your still just a hack like me!!! HA!! I told you of a story concept that I once had about the end of the world... remember it? Well it's taken forever and keeps changing I have no idea where to start it! It's tickin me off!!!
:iconzambi:
Merry Christmas!! I'm terrible at keeping in touch but I hope you're doing well!!! :heart:

--
My etsy shoop
UFO
My ADORABLE icon was made by ~horribletak
:iconpiraiyah:
<3

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Join me for a journey ...
:iconpiraiyah:
You have new stuff! :O

Great!~ *tears of joy* And you are still improving! FF12 and zelda fanart! <3 The fact that you even draw fanart must be a proof that you are in the mood of drawing lots again, huh? Or maybe that's just a personal thing, as I find it hard to "waste effort" on "others' work" when I can barely draw my own.

=)

I am happy to see that you are alive anyhow.

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Join me for a journey ...
:iconruok:
Forgot this:

:heart: :hug: :hug: :heart:

How the hell have you been, I've missed you? ;3;

--
If you feel the need to end Tchaikovsky's Pathetique Symphony with a picardy third, you might be a music theory geek.
:iconruok:
hahahah, that was all before AX, when I was foolishly trying to have enough prints for a table. I ended up going, but got a swift kick in the teeth from reality. ^^; I'm currently busting my ass working on my music degree, but hopefully I'll be able to update her semi-regularly.

<_<

>_>

*crosses fingers*


p.s. Those two pictures you mentioned look horrible. >< I rushed them out in one day, and had intended to go back and do 'real' versions of them...but then lost the urge. *sigh*

--
If you feel the need to end Tchaikovsky's Pathetique Symphony with a picardy third, you might be a music theory geek.
:iconpiraiyah:
Haha so you're fighting too. :D Happy to not be the only one..

I finally stopped working this summer to make my second trip to japan, and finally become a student again.
Almost magically, I have been drawing lots recently~ Thanks to having more free time.

Well I am alive and happy anyhow. =)

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Join me for a journey ...

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